Tag Archives: happiness

MiScellany.

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eyes wide open. literally.  after a visit to my rockin’ awesome eye doc.  my peepers got the clean bill of health.

no prescription change either.

shocker coming from the gene pool in which I was made.

got home earlier than normal after shielding my dilated eyes from the blinding sun.  (luckily the doc’s office is super close.)  and something urged me to take the puppers for an extra long walk.

the dilation drops were very slowly wearing off, so I relaxed into the beauty around me.    since I could SEE everything.  and as I gazed at the swaying trees in our park while the puppers combed the grass, I felt a medley of something I don’t feel very often:  connection.  presence.  calm.  clear.  confidence.  confident that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.  ahhhh.  and that felt so good.  and it still is here – four days later.

sidebar>>may the fourth be with you.  haha.  can’t help it.  ;-)  happy Star Wars day!

even the doggy picked up on my calm energy.  she didn’t pull.  and didn’t want to lead.  she didn’t bark at any skate-boarders.  or even the FedEx truck.  she just trotted along beside me.  stopping to smell all the scents left behind from other furry creatures.  apparently, smelling things is like watching a reality TV show for dogs.  my puppers definitely travels life with her eyes wide open.

the eye doc said I’m doing really well.  and had a fourth neurologist referral should I decide to switch in the future.  hmmm.  I see my current neuro on Tuesday.

tangential curve:  loving work-life most days.  lots of connections.  and I love that I’m on a new project.  that makes all the difference to me:  learning and doing new sh*t.  getting things organized.

with that, I’m going to take a break from my extra-curricular learning.  I have Bike MS to prep for in October.  we’re gonna go for the full 100. but will settle for Day 1 if that’s how it works out. whatever happens, happens.

so grateful for what is.

this week, I decided to swap two words from one of my fave quotes from Gretchen Rubin:  the days are long, the years are short.

and change it to…the days are short, the years are long.

whatever one envisions, one can create.  that’s mine.  and it just popped to the surface.  write that one down woman!

what happened to you this week?  my cuz and Grandma were on my mind a lot.  I took a good chunk of my inheritance from my Grandma and passed it forward to the MS Society.  that felt so good!

xox

chance encounter.

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exhausted.  after one night in Vegas.

I am getting old!

but have never had such a fab birthday!

last night in Vegas, I met a girl at our three card poker table.  I knew as soon as she sat down that her energy was good.  I liked her instantly.

she started talking to the dealer, who wanted to know where she and her hub were from etc.

chicago.

of course, that piqued my hub’s interest.

turned out she played water polo at my hub’s high school.  after it had been converted to co-ed.  this is not the first time we have run into former Fenwick peeps.  randomly!  i.e., when a gaggle of teen guys from Chicago were in FL wanting to play with my sistas…all attended Fenwick.  and jumped to attention once they heard my hub did.

anyhow, I digress.

this girl shared with our dealer that she wanted a break after dealing with a horrible diagnosis two+ years ago.

I couldn’t NOT ask her.

she had leukemia.  and kicked it out of her universe!  awesome.  we clinked our glasses.  she rocked.

I shared what I have.

and she said, oh, that’s way worse than leukemia.

whaaaat??  no way!!   I said.   not my version of MS.  no way, no how.

she said, trust me.

huh.

I still refute her statement.  though the hub and I discussed further tonight:  she knew what the treatment options were.  she had an end point to her treatment and kicked cancer in its balls.

got it.  just like I am kicking MS.  same story.  different circumstance.  no kids.  for the aforementioned reasons.  we got each other.  so, so cool!

my only regret, I did not get her number.  but we winked, mentally hugged, and high five’d as the hub and I left the table.  the best part…she didn’t believe I am 39.  ha!

xox

 

good-bye 38.

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wow.  38 sure was a full plate.

really did I just rhyme that?  let me contemplate…ummm.  no.

so to continue with my plate theme…last year was full of lots of plates stacked on top of each other.  some fell, sadly.

but lots didn’t…and looked like…

learning.

inspiration.

growth.

loving.  more.

sharing.

giving.

creating.

followed by some writing.  ;-)

cheering.

and more loving.  oh wait.  already said that.

so that’s what 38 was all about…thank you for all that you gave me.

whaaat’s up 39?!

I’ll see you tomorrow.  can’t wait to experience what you have in store for me!  if you’re listening, I’ll have some more of the fun, colorful, great-full, and feel-good plates, please.  mega-learning and expansion.  a completed first draft, for sure.  solid health.  yeah!  movement at work.  a new biz website.  and maybe throw in a celebrity run-in.  that would be cool.  you know, not even a well-known celebrity will do.  I’ll take ‘em!  and don’t forget the LOVE.  always gotta have that!

xox

pause and effect.

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scene:  the hub and I were sitting at a bar tonight.

what did you think? I asked, as I let the smooth merlot warm my throat.

did you feel the pause and effect? I continued.

what? he replied.

I don’t know.  that just popped out.  the ‘when she didn’t hear me.’  you know what I’m talking about.  the pause and effect.

I paused.

ah.  yes, yes, I did.  I was wondering if you were going to break it.  and you didn’t.  I wanted you to, but then I realized it would be harder if you did.

xo

chocolate lake.

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mmmmm.  mmmmm.

I love chocolate.  anyone who knows me, knows this.

so last night I had the most clear dream that I have had in some time.

and it all boiled down to the perfect chocolate lake.

whhaaaat?

I dreamed I was in a workshop with one of my book club chickee’s sister.

the concept of the workshop was to create a vanilla ice cream sculpture.  that’s it.  no rules.  my friend’s sister and I were paired up.  but each had to come up with our own concept.

I started out by rolling vanilla balls of ice cream.  you know.  a vanilla sculpture.  and, already I was concerned with how I was going to keep them in perfect form.

ice cream melts.

after spooling nine balls together they started slipping and sliding against each other.  it was a cold sloppy mess.

so I decided to change things up when I notice a former teacher directing the event in the background; the teacher who wouldn’t refund me my money last year when I bailed out after two sessions from four.  when I got sick.  come on, no sympathy refund for the final two sessions?

no refund policy.  no refund policy.

oooh…bitter was I!  was I going to show her!

so I decided to make the best d*mn ice cream sculpture that ever existed.

and so I did.

we were ‘allowed’ to add chocolate to our vanilla.

and so I did.  and kept stirring and stirring.

until i had a silky lake of shiny chocolate in my bowl.

I was going to win!  I knew it!

it was beautiful!  stunning.  everyone was oohing and aww-ing.

but wait…it still wasn’t perfect.  in my mind.

so I kept mucking with it.  and turning the ice cream soup over and over.

until it was that.  utter muck.

soooo disappointed.  defeated.

message quite clear:

don’t mess with something that is already perfect.

really that obvious?

was I more disappointed by the answer in my dream?

or in my waking state.

huh.

xoxo

it is official.

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…I am getting my official game on people!

moving to the next level of where I want to move in life…

yeeehhhawww!

feels expansive. and terrifying at the same time…

(that, my friends, is how one tells the difference between intuition and fear – if it ain’t expansive, it’s fear.)  ;-)

oooph!!

so here goes my plan…

step 1. sign up for Marie Forleo’s B-School. done!

step 2. send the intention for my end game out to the Universe. ummm, done!

step 3. start doing more of what I am being called to do: help people. write. and blog. speak.  life coach!  career coach!  create. inspire. volunteer at the art center. finish my dang book! travel.  just frickin’ do it, woman!  creative inspiration in the ravaged corporate-world.  ummm yeah..all kinda in progress.  though I had to ask my hub to stop me from signing up for any more classes after B-School.  so I can do more on this plan!

step 4. rebrand my website. and blog.  not yet!

step 5. do and fail at steps 3 and 4 over and over again.  until it sticks.  because that’s the only way it will.  bazinga!  zero here.

step 6. make an awesome Harlem Shake video.  also a big NULL!  for now.

that is all.

so…what is your calling, people!  I know you have one!  (that tiny voice that comes from within, helps provide the guidance.)

share below…puleeeeze!

because…you know you are awesome…and I would love to hear the magnitude of your awesome-sauce!!  go on, do it!

xox

INFJ death stare?

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who knew such a thing existed?!  not me!

until someone found my blog searching for INFJ death stare.

love that!

thank you random stranger for finding my blog!  appreciate the look, and I promise that if I ever meet you in person, I will restrain my stare. ;-)

after doing some research on the topic, I found that an intense stare, looooong, and sometimes angry look seems to be common for INFJs.

and INTJs.

we’re both kinda serious types.  stoic listeners.  and extremely observant.  putting all the patterns together in our thoughts.  senses are on fire.  (sometimes gets a bit overwhelming!)

when it comes to Myers-Briggs, the hub and I both share our dominant function, Intuition.  which is introverted – it all happens on the inside…

we are absorbed taking a lot of sh*t in all the time – no wonder the stare shows up!

I think it’s more of a zone out; we’re on a journey on the inside.

the more I think about it, I do stare at people – I’m fascinated by them!  what is going on in there, I want to know!  what are they thinking…I love making up stories about random strangers.

ran across one descriptor – INFJ eyes are deep – like the soul of the holder is looking through you.  cool.  maybe.

or perhaps what we see scares us. ;-)

after discovering this nugget today, I recalled a photo of me at my corporate day job.

and there I was, wearing the death stare!

and it was at a happy event!

go figure.  must be mindful of my external expression of what’s goin’ on inside.

good indicator my mask is not in place whenever people ask me, what’s wrong?  

hardly anything is, but it’s usually when I’m deeply focused on something.

and then…someone at @ work this week throws out that I look like Wendy – you know – Wendy from the restaurant.

huh?  whaaat?

he probably got the death stare for that…in fact, I’m sure he did, as he quickly followed up with, well, you’re always smiling, it’s great.  in fact you also kinda remind me of Pippi Longstocking, she was fearless.  and always smiling.  just like Wendy.

and then he walked off.  still makes me giggle.

that’s all I got for the death stare topic.  :-)

sidebar>>>love, love how much there is that I don’t know.  yet.  for example, I listened to a podcast earlier this week from my favorite Stuff You Should Know guys, Josh and Chuckers, How does the Barbie doll work…frickin’ hilarious.  those guys always make me laugh.  note to self>>good death stare banishment.  vengeance is mine…if you know Barbie…you know what I’m talkin’ about…  :-)

sidebar2>>>working on my first workshop for Myers-Briggs Step II!  super excited!

xox

ps.  also contemplating taking Marie Forleo’s BSchool.  this might be the most least thought-through decision I have made in my life, as I will have to decide by Monday…and I just found out about it yesterday.  but anyone who says mother-humpers on a Q&A call is all good in my book.  seriously.  :-)

unblocking.

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in turtle steps.

one of my friends threw out a first sentence prompt on Friday.  in Facebook land.

“take the first sentence of the post below mine, and write a paragraph,” she instructed.

hell yes, was I going to play!  scratching out a few sentences, freehand.  I couldn’t wait to get to my laptop and post.

and now we have a FB group formed – the FSP Writer’s Guild.  ;-)

do we have the group public or secret?  now under discussion.

considering that I dropped the f-bomb in my second post, I’m not sure I want the whole world to know what a potty mouth I have.

but it’s who I am, so why not?  :-)

“Thinking about my mother-in-law. Again,” she said.
“What’s bugging you now?” her friend asked. 
She cringed as she replayed the stinging words in her mind. “She said that ‘you’ll never be good enough for my son.’ It’s a beauty.”
“Ouch, why do you put up with that? Did he defend you at least?” her friend asked.
“No, of course not – he thinks it’s funny,” she sighed, grabbing her half-finished martini, throwing it down letting the icy vodka warm her throat.
“Honey, you need to leave that infant of a man and the mother he rode in on. Please do it for me, at least. If not yourself.”

no editing.  no nothing.  just let a paragraph flow from that first sentence.

love it.

xoxo

random love stuff.

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you’re awesome!  remember that on this Valentine’s Day Eve!

single or paired up.  or whatever.

and especially if you’re single or alone, make sure you do something for you.

to celebrate your awesomeness… :-)

…and now a bit of a rub…

I just have to share:  today is the hub’s and my eleventh anniversary. (eleven years?!)

since we had our first official date.

first date after the happy hour that started it all.

he emailed me on a Monday morning, saying, so it looks like I’ll have a pair of Ducks tickets for Wednesday night, do you want to go?

did I want to go?  heck yes!!

I still remember the guy who sat across from me at work asking where I was going smelling so good and skipping out right at 5:00?  I have a date, I declared with a grin that would not stop.

yeah, yeah, the hub and I are overly sentimental.  I still have a copy of that email.

but that’s cool.  we dig it the most.  we wouldn’t be us if we weren’t, well, us.

daily, I write in my morning pages, how grateful I am for my rockin’… …amazing…brilliant…funny… hot hub!  whatever adjective fits.

we tell each other we love each other.  every day.  multiple times.  we never forget.

even on the not so great days.  (we have had those too – like every other couple out there!)

that’s all I got.  love you, baby, and you know I like to tell everyone…  ;-)

bit of a sidebar>>>the blogging mojo has still been avoiding me since my Grandma left her physical form…I think I exhausted it all writing her eulogy.

it’s okay though…doing some work on NOT comparing and despairing during this period of writing inactivity.  uh huh.  yep.  careful what words I use, woman!  inactivity, comparing, and despairing.  not good LOA choices are they!?

I know the mojo is still in there.

oh good.  goosebumps just confirmed it. (btw, taking a course on Intuition.  more on that later.)

what have you crazy peeps been up to lately…do tell?!

ps.  remember, that YOU are awesome.  tomorrow, find a random someone to look in the eyes and smile.  and see what happens.  I dare ya.  ;-)

xo

love all around.

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holy wow.  this one is going to really hurt.

it already is.

how the world can change in a second.

(how many times has a writer written that line??  too many.  is it cliché yet?)

I thought I would be returning to the same Grandma from last weekend – when I visited her yesterday morning.

(not that she was even my usual, twinkly-eyed Grandma last weekend.  but she knew I was there at least.  on some level.)

nope.  God had other plans for her this week.

she had a massive right brain stroke.  suppose it’s a shame it wasn’t her left brain…at least she would be in better shape on the inside.  from what I hear.  she would be able to easily see and connect with the angels that just want to fold their downy feathers around her.

they can’t wait until she joins them.  I can feel it.  but for now, they are watching.  waiting.

the priest at her church (of 60 years!) anointed her with oil last night.  it was beautiful.  and tear-full.  she was left holding a comfort cross.

the priest also gave comfort crosses to my uncle.  myself.  and my hub.

we set her up for hospice care today.  thank God, that my cousin D. was there to help guide my uncle and me as we met with hospice care, Kathy.  I looked at my uncle at one point, and it was as if he had turned into D.

wowzer.

Grandma, you have love all around you.  you know that.

love.  love.  love.

xoxo