Tag Archives: perseverance

MiScellany.

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eyes wide open. literally.  after a visit to my rockin’ awesome eye doc.  my peepers got the clean bill of health.

no prescription change either.

shocker coming from the gene pool in which I was made.

got home earlier than normal after shielding my dilated eyes from the blinding sun.  (luckily the doc’s office is super close.)  and something urged me to take the puppers for an extra long walk.

the dilation drops were very slowly wearing off, so I relaxed into the beauty around me.    since I could SEE everything.  and as I gazed at the swaying trees in our park while the puppers combed the grass, I felt a medley of something I don’t feel very often:  connection.  presence.  calm.  clear.  confidence.  confident that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.  ahhhh.  and that felt so good.  and it still is here – four days later.

sidebar>>may the fourth be with you.  haha.  can’t help it.  ;-)  happy Star Wars day!

even the doggy picked up on my calm energy.  she didn’t pull.  and didn’t want to lead.  she didn’t bark at any skate-boarders.  or even the FedEx truck.  she just trotted along beside me.  stopping to smell all the scents left behind from other furry creatures.  apparently, smelling things is like watching a reality TV show for dogs.  my puppers definitely travels life with her eyes wide open.

the eye doc said I’m doing really well.  and had a fourth neurologist referral should I decide to switch in the future.  hmmm.  I see my current neuro on Tuesday.

tangential curve:  loving work-life most days.  lots of connections.  and I love that I’m on a new project.  that makes all the difference to me:  learning and doing new sh*t.  getting things organized.

with that, I’m going to take a break from my extra-curricular learning.  I have Bike MS to prep for in October.  we’re gonna go for the full 100. but will settle for Day 1 if that’s how it works out. whatever happens, happens.

so grateful for what is.

this week, I decided to swap two words from one of my fave quotes from Gretchen Rubin:  the days are long, the years are short.

and change it to…the days are short, the years are long.

whatever one envisions, one can create.  that’s mine.  and it just popped to the surface.  write that one down woman!

what happened to you this week?  my cuz and Grandma were on my mind a lot.  I took a good chunk of my inheritance from my Grandma and passed it forward to the MS Society.  that felt so good!

xox

chance encounter.

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exhausted.  after one night in Vegas.

I am getting old!

but have never had such a fab birthday!

last night in Vegas, I met a girl at our three card poker table.  I knew as soon as she sat down that her energy was good.  I liked her instantly.

she started talking to the dealer, who wanted to know where she and her hub were from etc.

chicago.

of course, that piqued my hub’s interest.

turned out she played water polo at my hub’s high school.  after it had been converted to co-ed.  this is not the first time we have run into former Fenwick peeps.  randomly!  i.e., when a gaggle of teen guys from Chicago were in FL wanting to play with my sistas…all attended Fenwick.  and jumped to attention once they heard my hub did.

anyhow, I digress.

this girl shared with our dealer that she wanted a break after dealing with a horrible diagnosis two+ years ago.

I couldn’t NOT ask her.

she had leukemia.  and kicked it out of her universe!  awesome.  we clinked our glasses.  she rocked.

I shared what I have.

and she said, oh, that’s way worse than leukemia.

whaaaat??  no way!!   I said.   not my version of MS.  no way, no how.

she said, trust me.

huh.

I still refute her statement.  though the hub and I discussed further tonight:  she knew what the treatment options were.  she had an end point to her treatment and kicked cancer in its balls.

got it.  just like I am kicking MS.  same story.  different circumstance.  no kids.  for the aforementioned reasons.  we got each other.  so, so cool!

my only regret, I did not get her number.  but we winked, mentally hugged, and high five’d as the hub and I left the table.  the best part…she didn’t believe I am 39.  ha!

xox

 

three strong women.

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Annette Funicello.

Lilly Pulitzer.

the Iron Lady.  Margaret Thatcher.  PM while I was living in England.  (she definitely wore her catsuit to work every day.)

Annette didn’t make it quite as long as the other two.  she was 70.  and died from MS complications.  what those might have been…we will probably never know.

huh.

sad day today.

whatever your connection to MS might be.  fashion.  or politics.  may they all RIP.

xo

unblocking.

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in turtle steps.

one of my friends threw out a first sentence prompt on Friday.  in Facebook land.

“take the first sentence of the post below mine, and write a paragraph,” she instructed.

hell yes, was I going to play!  scratching out a few sentences, freehand.  I couldn’t wait to get to my laptop and post.

and now we have a FB group formed – the FSP Writer’s Guild.  ;-)

do we have the group public or secret?  now under discussion.

considering that I dropped the f-bomb in my second post, I’m not sure I want the whole world to know what a potty mouth I have.

but it’s who I am, so why not?  :-)

“Thinking about my mother-in-law. Again,” she said.
“What’s bugging you now?” her friend asked. 
She cringed as she replayed the stinging words in her mind. “She said that ‘you’ll never be good enough for my son.’ It’s a beauty.”
“Ouch, why do you put up with that? Did he defend you at least?” her friend asked.
“No, of course not – he thinks it’s funny,” she sighed, grabbing her half-finished martini, throwing it down letting the icy vodka warm her throat.
“Honey, you need to leave that infant of a man and the mother he rode in on. Please do it for me, at least. If not yourself.”

no editing.  no nothing.  just let a paragraph flow from that first sentence.

love it.

xoxo

random love stuff.

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you’re awesome!  remember that on this Valentine’s Day Eve!

single or paired up.  or whatever.

and especially if you’re single or alone, make sure you do something for you.

to celebrate your awesomeness… :-)

…and now a bit of a rub…

I just have to share:  today is the hub’s and my eleventh anniversary. (eleven years?!)

since we had our first official date.

first date after the happy hour that started it all.

he emailed me on a Monday morning, saying, so it looks like I’ll have a pair of Ducks tickets for Wednesday night, do you want to go?

did I want to go?  heck yes!!

I still remember the guy who sat across from me at work asking where I was going smelling so good and skipping out right at 5:00?  I have a date, I declared with a grin that would not stop.

yeah, yeah, the hub and I are overly sentimental.  I still have a copy of that email.

but that’s cool.  we dig it the most.  we wouldn’t be us if we weren’t, well, us.

daily, I write in my morning pages, how grateful I am for my rockin’… …amazing…brilliant…funny… hot hub!  whatever adjective fits.

we tell each other we love each other.  every day.  multiple times.  we never forget.

even on the not so great days.  (we have had those too – like every other couple out there!)

that’s all I got.  love you, baby, and you know I like to tell everyone…  ;-)

bit of a sidebar>>>the blogging mojo has still been avoiding me since my Grandma left her physical form…I think I exhausted it all writing her eulogy.

it’s okay though…doing some work on NOT comparing and despairing during this period of writing inactivity.  uh huh.  yep.  careful what words I use, woman!  inactivity, comparing, and despairing.  not good LOA choices are they!?

I know the mojo is still in there.

oh good.  goosebumps just confirmed it. (btw, taking a course on Intuition.  more on that later.)

what have you crazy peeps been up to lately…do tell?!

ps.  remember, that YOU are awesome.  tomorrow, find a random someone to look in the eyes and smile.  and see what happens.  I dare ya.  ;-)

xo

love all around.

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holy wow.  this one is going to really hurt.

it already is.

how the world can change in a second.

(how many times has a writer written that line??  too many.  is it cliché yet?)

I thought I would be returning to the same Grandma from last weekend – when I visited her yesterday morning.

(not that she was even my usual, twinkly-eyed Grandma last weekend.  but she knew I was there at least.  on some level.)

nope.  God had other plans for her this week.

she had a massive right brain stroke.  suppose it’s a shame it wasn’t her left brain…at least she would be in better shape on the inside.  from what I hear.  she would be able to easily see and connect with the angels that just want to fold their downy feathers around her.

they can’t wait until she joins them.  I can feel it.  but for now, they are watching.  waiting.

the priest at her church (of 60 years!) anointed her with oil last night.  it was beautiful.  and tear-full.  she was left holding a comfort cross.

the priest also gave comfort crosses to my uncle.  myself.  and my hub.

we set her up for hospice care today.  thank God, that my cousin D. was there to help guide my uncle and me as we met with hospice care, Kathy.  I looked at my uncle at one point, and it was as if he had turned into D.

wowzer.

Grandma, you have love all around you.  you know that.

love.  love.  love.

xoxo

on writing.

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I dreamed of writing the outline for my chick-lit novel this morning.

was at a work lunch.  seated to my left was one of my former colleagues, whom I still see every now and then.

(btw, she shows up in my dreamscape whenever I am on a right path.)

bored by the conversation at the table.  I grab a blank piece of paper (from somewhere!) and begin writing single word draft titles for each of my eleven(?!) chapters.

now, I can’t recall all that I wrote – but one thing stands out: I could read the scribbles.  reading letters + dreaming usually don’t go together.

here’s what I do remember:

sensation.

creation.

failing.

job.

doctor.

advent.

rejection.

huh?

time to get writing.

pretty sure this dream inspiration manifested after dinner last night when my hub and I were discussing the Triangle of Writing that I had read about earlier this week.

given what a visual and project focused person I am, the Triangle of Writing Metrics, by Rachel Aaron snapped my attention.

and made it very clear why I have not written for weeks now.

I get it.

I need an outline.

I have been writing about Jillie and Anya willy-nilly.  free.  all over the place.  whatever pops to mind.  while enjoying it thoroughly.

I’m now stuck.  (funny, I just wrote ‘not’ instead of now…)

I don’t know where I’m going.  or what they are doing.  I have a mental picture.  but need something right in front of me to get rolling again.

you can read Rachel’s blog here…

how I went from writing 2000 words a day to 10000 words a day!

so there you have it:  I intend to put together an Anya and Jillian map this month.  bazingo! ;-)

hope you all have a great weekend!  we have a weekend of cleaning and clearing out Xmas.  plus, I’m eagerly awaiting the results of my Myers-Briggs Step II assessment.  more training and self-discovery coming up!  :-)

xox

here’s some music to push you into a good mood…  :-)

 

word.

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been working with my MuSe for inspiration 2011-12.

now time to create what inspires me.

a completed first draft.  already underway.

a job.  even in my current job.

a healthy body.  with my current body.

a strong(er) mind.

a business.

learning.  and listening.

happiness.  laugh.  smile.

balance.

connect.  (no, baby, not on the XBox… ;-)

Lori Koop says one word is easier to focus on than a list of resolutions that is quickly forgotten.  and very often broken.

I discovered that just by identifying my one word for 2013, create…all the things for which I do reach – feel much more palpable.  and closer.  no set timeline.  easy.

create comes after inspiration.

here’s to a better year this year!! be safe out there tonight, people!

what’s your word for 2013?  create below if you like…I dare ya!  ;-)

xoxo

counting down.

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the hub and I enjoyed an awesome dinner tonight at a neighborhood restaurant.

’twas very clear we have been eating out wayyyy too much of late.

(errr. the last year and a half.)

all of our local haunts have been treating us exceptionally well this holiday season.

they all know us.  and shake our hands.  kinda Norm-like.  and we know the other regulars.

guess that makes the extra weight I have gained worthwhile!

fyi…have nixed the auto-ject.  extra weight helps with injections.

but no more in 2013.  fo’shizzle!  back on the bike.  (which, I did today, btw!)

or perhaps as early as tomorrow at dark o’clock.  on a live bike.

but tonight, at dinner, we recounted all that went well in 2012.

despite some yuck.  (big black spots on 2012.)

lots we concluded – went well.  without a doubt.

and that felt really good.

all we can do is take a took at the What Went Well.  and toast to that!

then arrived home to my cousin’s yearly poem.  love that!

now home, my hub is reclined.  playing his XBox 360.  happy.

fulfilled.

what is up for 2013?

my resolution is to enjoy every day as it comes.  even eager to get back to work!

whaaaat?!  the routine.  the interaction.  the problem solving.  all fabu in my book!

oh, and keep writing.  and learning.

one of my girlfriends from college, has just published a book. Sacred.  check it out if you get a chance.  awesome.

blows me away how many authors I know now.  so cool!

despite my desire to work with people.  my truest desire is just to write.  like everyone else in the blogosphere.  ;-)

however, my other resolution in 2013 is not to let good friends go astray.

I’m a weird bird to figure out.  I get that.  INFJ.  remember that.  ;-)

but I no longer let good friends go to the wayside because of my own insecurities.  no more.  so if you are an old friend that has happened to stumble across my blog.

know that I still think of you.  and often.  miss you.  and not sure what to do now.  esp. my one best friend from 3rd-11th grade.  who crossed paths with my cousin just a couple of years ago.  before he died.  xo

she understood; she didn’t hold my silence against me…
~Scarlett in reference to Lily…Sacred, Elana K. Arnold.

xoxo

2013 prologue.

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the pressure of a new year is in front of us.

can you feel it yet?

the year when we are called to action…(just like every other year!)

to do something brilliant.  and different.

create something new.

lose weight. and get/stay in shape!

get back to yoga.

save more money.

get married.

have a baby.

quit [fill in the blank]

find a better job.

volunteer.

travel more.

accept and love oneself.

improve family relationships.

learn something new. and do something with that new knowledge!

drop the negative thoughts.

and increase the positive thoughts.

go back to church.

be grateful. every day.

do something kind for others every single day.

maintain a clean house.

finish all those books.

finish the first draft.

decide what to do with one’s life!  and do it!

and be happy.  every day.

~

ummmm.  yeah.

let’s stop here before we get too carried away.  actually reading through the above list kinda really stressed me out.  who is this super-person!?

may or may not look like your list for 2013.

(shhhh.  this list looks a lot like my commitment/resolution/dream lists from past years. except for the baby part.  it’s no wonder I am so stressed out half most of the time.)

that’s a load of pressure isn’t it?!

pressure already, when the new year has not even begun!

why are we so hard on ourselves?

and often set ourselves up for failure. with our lengthy-high-expectation-to-do lists.

if you don’t have a list yet or just feel overwhelmed reading your already crafted list…

circle the top three items on your list…and focus just on those items.

or perhaps you want to consider the following for 2013 if you don’t have anything yet (and that’s okay too!)…

treat myself with kindness.  every day.

smile every day.

laugh every day.

let’s start here.

and that will be enough.  deal?

xo